Windows (rant)
 

"What's on my mind?!!!" - Windows = F***ing Rainman of Operating Systems!
Took pictures of day out with kids. Plugged my phone into laptop (with windoze installed). - windoze recognised phone as "g:" but would not show files - f***ing reta**ed!
Tried it again same dumb-*** result. Switched phone off then on. Restarted (or reta**ed) Windows. F*** sake - phone is bog-standard mass-storage device. Mac OS sees it, Linux sees it but Windows in it's spastic attempt to be a modern OS (e.g. a 102 year old granny tarting herself up to look like Kylie Minogue) decides to assign it a drive letter, randomly changes it to F: or G: (a throwback to MS-DOS circa.1982 and drive letter assignment governed by moon and tidal movement predictions). After 10 minutes of re-plugging USB cables and watching stupid notifications "Windows is searching for a driver" (the only driver it needs is a 9-iron to the back of the head). Eventually it works - whoppi-f***ing-doo!. It takes just a few seconds fo my Linux laptop to do this but Windows just sits there, slaps itself in the face and drools like a grinning ret**d. I Open Internet Explorer navigate to Facebook and then Windows announces "Explorer has encountered a problem and will shut down because the site you were visiting may contain harmful content". I'll show you harmful content - try dealing with battery acid b*tch! After 1/2 an hour I upload my photos to Facebook. Using Windows is like running down a flight of stairs while holding a pair of scissors - it's a matter of time before you gouge your eyes out or dropping your trousers rubbing ky-jelly on your sphincter and bending over a table in a gay bar - at some point you are going to get f***ed!

Re: Windows (rant)
 

http://gerbick.com/images/popcorn.gif

You did not disappoint. Bravo. Impressive rant indeed.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I gave up on Windows 2008 after been dualbooting since 2005-2006. I just realised that i didn't boot windows anymore and could use that hd space to something better. Nowadays i am running Ubuntu 10.10 alpha 2 and love it everyday.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Is there any place on t.m.o. thats the counterpart of "best of craigslist"? this one deserves to go there.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Yet it's running 90% of the world's computers.

I've used Linux and Mac. They have their share of kinks. I always come back to Windows. You just need to learn how to deal with it. Just like an iPhone 4 :rolleyes:

Re: Windows (rant)
 

*almost* epic.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Too many asterisks in my opinion.

For the record I use both Windows and Linux. I agree that windows compared to linux is shi-asterisk-t..but I never ever had problems with it recognizing my phones or pendrives.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

There was probably something going on with your phone. Either its not a "bog-standard" mass storage device or you had a loose USB connection.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Never had this problem with windows.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I'm an atheist and don't believe in any religion but for the first time in my life I prayed to god and said "please, please tell me this guy is being sarcastic"

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I'll go with "I have never had this problem, so it doesn't exist" type of answer :P

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I suspected a loose USB connection.

I solved it by hammering a 9-inch nail through the cable connector and into the motherboard.

It's working fine but it bit unsightly.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

This is the best rant i've seen yet, bravo!

Re: Windows (rant)
 

cripes, johnel, I could have told you to use a rivet gun.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

You win the prize of the most useless and over-used comment about a technical problem....

...a job in an offshore technical support hotline for a mobile phone company of your choice.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

You are a n00b is how i see it. If you cant get used to it then why bother using it? If linux does the job for you then stick to that.

technical problem? lol

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I just read that as 'I can't use a computer, and I'm going to blame it instead of myself'

Surely that's cue for a Machead, not a geek :p

Re: Windows (rant)
 

You guys want to actually goad the man that laid down that prior rant? Balls o' steel.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

"You're holding it wrong" - Steve Jobs.

Honestly, I've had this same problem with Card Readers. Works perfect every time in Linux, requires multiple reboots several times in Windows 7.

There is proof after many, many moons of using Windows of all flavors and Linux of many distributions, that the Windows USB stack sucks nuts (and not in the good hooker sort of way.)

Linux even had USB 2.0 and 3.0 support before Windows did.

Windows 7 usually finds my phone's mass storage device, though sometimes it only mounts the SD card rather than both of the storage devices on it.

Seriously though, kudos to the rant, that was awesome and should be shared across the globe!

slaapliedje

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Thanks gerbrick.

I'm in a good mood so I'll be kind!

I'm a sprighty 40 year old burnt-out programmer working within the I.T. industry - (e.g. I've seen a lot of stuff - mainframes, cp/m, msdos, the very first version of Windows before it was made public, been directly involved in multi-million pound projects)

As far as "Balls o' steel" is concerned I suspect their balls haven't dropped yet and still sucking on their mother's ti****s!

Anyone who thinks that Windows got where it was today by technical merit is crazier than I am. (Actually I admire that kind of stupidity).

Actually, I often have a good chuckle at people who think they are some kind of expert because they know their way round Windows (the "OS" not the common 4-sided glass apertures in many buildings).

It's like some of the programmers I have had to interview in recent years. Just because they use an IDE they think they can program - err no. I asked a candidate "what does 'Option Explicit' mean?" and he could not answer the question! (hint: it has nothing to do with pornography!) - if you had the misfortune to program in Visual Basic you know what I mean!

So enough of the willy-waving.

At the end of the day computers should be easy to use for everyone - you can apoligise all you want about Windows but the simple fact is in it's current state it is an absolute mess.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Yea windows is pretty slumpy, but so much stuff works only on it. Photoshop/other proffesional graphic software, of course games etc.

I personally just use dual booting.
Ubuntu as main + Win XP as support system.
Just great :)

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Funny, it's the second time I quoted that - but I'd never thought I'd return it to sender... :p

Windows, like every other OS out there, has it's technical difficulties, so what? You don't see me asterisking about Ubuntu no longer recognising CDs in my DVD/CD drive, right? ;)

Live with it, repair it with that basic intelligence you're advertising or simply get rid of it.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Maybe I should have put the word "humour" in the title.

I'm actually concerned by the number of people who have taken the rant seriously.

BTW: Thanks for quoting my comments.

:)

Re: Windows (rant)
 

You don't expect people to not believe you're serious in a forum where rants like those make up 90% of the content by now? :D

Especially not when 49% of the people posting are either so anti-Linux that it makes you seriously fear for Torvalds' life and 49% are militant Linux fanatics to an extend that makes me fear for my OWN life because of that little world "Windows" in my profile.

But it's good to see you're still part of the "there's a fix for that, stupid" crowd, you got me seriously frightened there for a moment. ;)

Rather thanks for MAKING it, it's the most ingenious comment I've read so far, since it pretty much expresses my thoughts whenever I read another one of those "I'm so stupid I wonder how I even managed to find the power on button" rants... :D

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Did you ever meet someone that knows a few CLI commands? They actually think they're hackers!

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I find Windows is good for only charging the phone.
Every time I plugged the phone in it gets recognized but neither drive gets a Drive letter, yet USB flash drives get give the next availible letter, so why give my phone a letter that allready taken.
Fixed that, but I prefer SSH server and WinSCP to connect as you can see the entire phone.

Ahh yes MSDOS I remember - Overlaying managers to cram your bloating program into 640K ram, 16 colors, Norton Commander... those were the days.

Oh and yes "Option Explicit" means "Don't compile sloppy code"

Re: Windows (rant)
 

The worst thing is that the Windows OS's user interface never appear in a logical way to the user. Since Vista and 7 it got really worse. Everything feels backwards. They try to hide things from the user, even things that once even was good and made some sence. I completely understand your frustration, its so sad that most computers use this joke of an operating system just because of luck and offensive marketing strategies. It is the proof that this is not a good world. The worst thinkable evils, religion, windows and medieval x86 based architectures are still ruling peoples minds. Can it get much worse? If I would have been religious (and not an atheist), I'd be sure that I was already suffering in hell.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Nice rant. Actually though this sounds more like some sort of spyware infestation which could be causing all of the issues you were seeing.

Might want to give a good anti-virus / anti-spyware program a go.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

OOh while we're on errors..don't you just love this one: "Windows has encountered an unknown error"..

Or the infamous Win 98 error: "You have performed an illegal operation. The police are on their way."

Re: Windows (rant)
 

oh my, someone doesnt know how to use windows. am i supposed to feel sympathy for you now?
you are using internet explorer? you know, sometimes the biggest bug is not IN the computer, but sitting in front of it.

no problem at all here for me with using windows 7.

try ranting better next time.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Hey, stop that! ApMeFo is throwing unknown errors, too! :D

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Yeah but your software is in beta stages and still in testing. It is normal for unknown errors to occur. And you don't charge for it either.

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Hehe, true on the charge part, but the unknown write error won't go away in later stages, simply because I'm too lazy to learn how to get more information out of Python/QT (QFile only returns "An error occurred while writing file", which in ApMeFo translates to an unknown write error :D).

Re: Windows (rant)
 

So, at what point does it stop being funny and start being an insult?

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I think that the quintessential, amazingly honest, ms windows error is:

Re: Windows (rant)
 

Oddly rsync gave me a similar error when I was trying to copy some NITDroid files over to my SDCard (because their bzcat command for extracting the tbz failed miserably on the vfat partition... )

It basically said "There were errors" then the next line said "Operation completed successfully" It was just the symlinks anyhow.

By far the best error ever is the Bios error.

Pure awesome.

By the way, I have always hated windows. I grew up using an Atari 800Xl, then an Atari Mega STe, and Amiga 500, then had to suffer through the crashing of Windows 95 (thank god, I never really had to use Windows 3.1 or earlier. Though I did fix a DOS CD-ROM driver issue with an old Windows 3 box.)

slaapliedje

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I had to fix the exact opposite in one of my applications today when I got a success message that roughly translates to:

Re: Windows (rant)
 

BIOS != Windows

Just saying...

Re: Windows (rant)
 

I think that was part of slaapliedje's point. Pretty much all systems have really stupid error messages.