N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

This actually came to me as about the N800, but I altered it in light of current developments.

It is the distant past. The apes are clustered in the cave, cowering as a fierce leopard roars outside and tries to reach inside and grab one of them. But they have hidden themselves well, and he can't reach them. Continuing to growl ferociously, he recedes into the distance as they continue to huddle in terror. The hubub of 2001 vocal music fills the air.

Hours later, it is getting light, and a ray of light illuminates the cave as the triumphant music fills the air. The apes stagger bewilderedly out of the cave, and leaning against a rock they see a N810, strange object somehow transported by aliens. They surround it and one of the apes fearfully reaches out to touch it, then recoils, and advances towards it again.

Later, rival apes are about to capture the water hole when our apes emerge, with the fearful ape now holding the N810 above him. It is on now, and on the screen is a leopard growling ferociously and loudly, in great color. The other apes retreat. In triumph, the leader ape hurles the N810 high into the air, and it flips several times.

And there is a jump cut, thousands of years into the future. To Straussian waltz music, we see that a giant N810 has now become a space vehicle, hurtling towards the moon...

The slogan appears: Nokia 810: The Future is Now.

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

You forgot the part where the ape gets totally frustro because his thumbs can't get at the top row of keys of the stupid thumbboard, and he chucks the N810 against that big monolith some other aliens put there first.

And then another ape whips out his Newton, writes "Send more Newtons!" on the screen (with -- incidentally -- perfect HWR recognition) and then totals his Newton, because there's no way he can get the message sent to anyone...

All the while a third ape has been happily tapping away on his antediluvian Psion Series 3a, printing out perfect hardcopy, which he then has to shove into a faxmachine, because his Psion has zero connectivity options.

But hey! the future's still so bright I gotta wear shades. Right?

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

Except the Psion user could've sent it to anyone over a GSM call using IR, wirelessly emailed it or something else. Basically the same as a Newton, isn't it?

EPOC's email client was generally better than osso-email (shock ;-))

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

Do they still make cellphones with IR? I know my P910 has it, but that's already considered an ancient phone.

Newtons have -- how predictable! -- an IR stack that is incompatible with everything anywhere anytime. There's a hack to get -- somewhat -- standard IR on a Newton, but it's flakey.

And finally: everything EPOC had, was better than anything anyone else has. That's a mobile axiom, that is.

BTW, I forgot one last little monkey: He's sitting in the back, desperately trying to prevent his Pepper Pad from dragging him down to the centre of the Earth, but at least he can type on his thumbboard, even if it's only pathetic cries for help.

Edit: Oops! Forgot: The Series 3a didn't have EPOC, it had SIBO. But the axiom remains anyway.

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

In the end, the primates alternatively masturbate maniacally and fling feces at each other, and anything meaningful is forgotten.

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

My relatively modern (i.e. about a year since release) W850i has IR.

No arguments from me :-(

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

So, this is what we are going to talk about until the new OS and hardware are released? :D

I just read that apple is going to make a tablet. :p

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

Yeah, and Nokia is gonna start making phones. :p :p

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

Sounds like a fun Saturday night where I live!

Re: N810 -- The Kubrick Parody
 

Post pictures of your neighbors so we can look for them on "Cops". Oh, and of you too. :D