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-   -   Sarcasm Fail... (https://talk.maemo.org/showthread.php?t=92439)

j9a 2014-01-16 22:59

Sarcasm Fail...
 
Quote:

We also keep evaluating new possibilities, like decent video output (VGA/HDMI/SlimPort), DVB-T tuner and SDR receiver
Your insight is welcome and highly appreciated in our forum thread!
Hell yeah, I have an insight. I think most users don't really need all those fancy HDMI/whatever video outputs. It's phone, forgodsake! Let's abandon them to keep a price tag and instead include a small video projector (fullHD, naturally). There is a small list of some other features, that Neo900 really needs:

1) screen should have a mirroring effect when turned off, for use by ladies and those paranoid schizophreniacs who would like to check that there is no one behind them when they are about to type their precious passwords.

2) it should be posible to use phone as a remote mouse or touchpad, say to turn pages during a presentation (I mean there should be some easy PnP way to do it, without involving a command line wizardry).

3) I expect it goes without saying that the phone should be water, shock and heat-proof.

4) but in the case of emergency all phone memory including sim cards should be securely erased or physically destroyed.

5) it should be possible to insert a small fan somewhere, that'd be nice during hot summers or rush-hour subway rides.

6) inside the phone case there should be a holder for sticky notes, also the rear side of keyboard when expanded might be used as a holder for small paper notebook, visiting cards, credit cards or whatever.

7) flashlight. I guess, N900 probably already has one for the cam, but it would be nice to have an additional dark UV flashlight in case you ever feel like going scorpion hunting or just to check money for counterfeiting.

8) one side of the case should be a bit expanded to incorporate magnet card reader/writer, and at the same time it should be possible to use it as a portable paper shredder.

9) 1W laser pointer. Useful during presentations, handy if you ever get a girl and want to show her constellations (or just show off), nice if you meet another adolescent boy with whom to play Jedi.

10) Btw, laser pointer should be aimable, so that the phone is able to do retinal scanning/iris recognition by its cam and shine a laser at the eye if the person being identified isn't the phone owner. It should be possible to use laser for a small laser show as well.

11) Phone also should have a built-in taser or maybe a stun gun to be used for self-defense and as a theft-prevention system.

12) solar panel built into a rear cover in case you ever get stuck in the desert.

13) spinning reel for fishing in case there is a river in that desert you just got stuck.

14) vibration motor should be powerful enough for the phone to be used as a shaver (obviously a special cap should protect the razor when it's not being used).

15) swiss knife - you can't go wrong with this one.

16) on its base the phone should have two wheels so that it can stand up during a call and navigate by using camera/proximity sensors to face and approach you.

17) of course the phone should be controllable by any standard radio system used for amateur r/c aircraft.

18) case should (optionally) change the color chameleon-style. I have no idea, why anyone would need this one, but it sounds cool.

P.S. I expect that you will totally appreciate those valuable ideas and send me a working model once they are out for early testing, 'cause I obviously could easily sell all those (and many more!) ideas to any of your numerous rivals (like Palm, Inc, Valve Corporation or Apple Inc)!

dos1 2014-01-16 23:04

Re: Neo900 - finally a successor of N900
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by j9a (Post 1406959)
2) it should be posible to use phone as a remote mouse or touchpad, say to turn pages during a presentation (I mean there should be some easy PnP way to do it, without involving a command line wizardry).

This one is actually possible and shouldn't be hard. I've already seen exactly that working on Neo Freerunner (it was called ReMoko IIRC) :)

And other ideas... we'll think about them ;)

joerg_rw 2014-01-16 23:42

Re: Neo900 - finally a successor of N900
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by j9a (Post 1406959)
Hell yeah, I have an insight. I think most users don't really need all those fancy HDMI/whatever video outputs. It's phone, forgodsake! Let's abandon them to keep a price tag

what's pushing the pricetag are posts like yours wasting time of engineers and PR-crew same time. Please don't start arguing you meant it and it's not been sarcasm.
It's fine when you think most users don't need any other features than a featurephone. Neo900 group is differing in that we really want to know and thus ask our customers (most other companies stopped stuff like that long time ago, thanks to too many posts like yours). And in case you missed the point: it been clearly stated several times that we won't add stuff that unreasonably boosts pricetag - rather it's expected that the best of those improvements create additional sales and thus the net total is a reduction of sales price thanks to savings from big number component sourcing and R&D spreading across more devices.

Not really amused though this probably been meant as a pun at your side
/j

fridgecow 2014-01-17 06:36

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
Ermmm... about not being able to preorder twice for the same phone... I've already done this. I seem to recall it being said earlier that it was possible when someone asked. If it turns out not to be possible, could I please have a refund on the second preorder?

I quoted the original reference code in the second one, just as I remember it being stated...

nokiabot 2014-01-17 11:04

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
Oh my god :eek: if the project maintainer wasent restricted by current case and hardware he would have gladly incorporated some :) maybe if there was something like intels amt to remotely manage it could be awsome . Or even better if the handheld could boot anything like pc tons of distros win mac etc.

pichlo 2014-01-17 13:18

Re: Neo900 - finally a successor of N900
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by joerg_rw (Post 1406965)
what's pushing the pricetag are posts like yours

Come on, Jörg, please try to lighten up a bit! ;)

I understand - it was late at night, you were tired and not in the mood for jokes but accusing that post of pushing the price tag or delaying the project...? It was nothing more than a more verbose - and funnier - way to say the same thing as what I said before. (I understand your frustration of feeling to have to answer the same thing again BTW.)

I personally fail to see how a clearly non-serious post like that can have a negative impact on running the project whilst seriously considering adding new features, thus turning the specs into a moving target, doesn't. I also fail to see why it was labeled as sarcasm "fail". I would say it was sarcastic quite successfully.

Also marginally related, I think that whoever moved this to off-topic slipped a bit: fridgecow's post above is not related and is actually quite to the point. I believe this is the post he was referring to.

@nokiabot,
An ARM-based smartphone is not an x86-based PC. You can already boot alternative OSes on the N900, as long as they are compiled for the right architecture. But desktop Windows or Mac? Forget it.

thedead1440 2014-01-17 15:49

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
Pichlo when I moved the thread, joerg's post was the last one... Why fridgecow posted in this thread I don't know...

It's labelled as a fail as it's late to the party. The time for such posts was before the movement of all those wet dreams posts...

Kangal 2014-01-19 02:02

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
Idea's for ANY smartphone that sounds good:

1) Mirroring effect is handy
2) Using the phone's gyro as a mouse.
3) Using the phone's touchscreen as a mouse-touchpad.
4) Water proof
5) Shock proof
6) Heat proof
7) Securely wiping the memory (present day iOS/Android have this)
8) Powerful vibrator, goes hand-in-hand with waterproofing (for ladies)
9) Case changing phone is cool. Like a matte style casing which can illuminate a bit of light and can be changed from the Settings... or IT ACTS LIKE A NOTIFICATION LED.

PS The OP was successful, sarcasm was achieved. Some people didn't seem receptive to it. Do they know they aren't obligated to respond? Or can take things lightly, and even contribute to the sarcasm?

Example/
I think a butt-scratcher attachment would be an ideal feature for the Neo900 or any smartphone to be honest. /s

gerbick 2014-01-19 05:50

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
My only request; a bigger and better screen.

ndhikaa 2014-01-19 12:37

Re: Sarcasm Fail...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kangal (Post 1407424)
Idea's for ANY smartphone that sounds good:

1) Mirroring effect is handy

we can do that with a screen protector film :D


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