I request an app that uses the accelerometer to measure my thrust strength and longevity and compares it to the national average of men and filters out lesbians with strapons that will purposely try to skew the results to hurt our egos. When I "finish" it should say, "congratulations sir" in the same voice as Ironman's suit.
Oh and when I get a hot chick's number it should project a hologram that gives me a high five and it should say, "well done sir."