Kathy, reading your posts, is this your problem?

You downloaded the bin file via torrent method, but then when using the Nokia Update Manager you did not hit "I think it's a cancel option" at a certain point in process to allow you to specify the path to the bin file you downloaded and have locally on your PC.

As a consequence you are sat waiting in the Nokia Update Manager whilst it downloads the whole bin file via the currently slow Nokia Link.

I believe you can, ungracefully cancel out of the activity in one way or another, because until the bin file is successfully downloaded it will not start to update your N800.

Apologies for not being exact on the option wording in the update manager but I am not at home so cannot start the windows application to check.

This might help?