Update : I fixed the problem with the 'incompatible package'. It was as you suggested from the start, the Section of the debian control file should be user/xxx. Once I changed that, application manager was able to accept the deb files I created.
I updated all the packages in the usual URL, so you can install them all without going into red pill mode.. I also added the following packages :
cabextract, gnash-common, gnash, libswfdec, swfdec-gnome.
Install cabextract, libswfdec and swfdec-gnome if you want to be able to receive winks. You will need to go to menu account->select plugins->winks->configure and set the 'swf player command' to 'swfdec-player' and empty the arguments field. You can also try to install gnash but it runs SO SLOW on the n810 that it's not worth it at all. I wrote all that in the README.txt file with some more info.

p.s: Note that you can hide/unhide the menus with the binding Ctrl-M. That could be useful if you don't want to see tk's menubar in your window.