One solution that's worth trying, if you've got an old/other phone about is to get a PAYG sim and the minimum credit. Then use this PAYG number as the smscon "emergency contact". If you try the number of someone you know, warm him/her first: if you wake up at 3 o'clock in the night and check your phone for the time, he/she will get an sms!

smscon is not malware but, yes, it will send messages to the predefined number whenever the phone does something.