1700 events?! That's 4 to 5 events a day, every day, for a full year. With none of them repeating, since repeat events are generally stored as one event item. Maybe it's time to trim the database a bit, yes? Or maybe limit the scope of what's synced? Most sync apps can limit the sync to a specific time frame, say 2 weeks back and 14 months forward?

As for the rest, I've found the N900 one of the easiest devices I've had as far as sync goes. I've had no issue syncing with the Exchange server at work and with my Google calendar (via ical/ics and a simple script). The only time I had a "hicup" was when Google changed something a year or so back and it stopped syncing, and that was a pretty trivial fix, given the tools available.

The only issues I have with the built-in software is the lack of complex repeat editing (there's an app), and the inability to have one item exist once on the N900 when it's shared to multiple calendars. But that's more that I don't want my calendars auto-mixing in the real world... At least not anywhere by on my N900.

As for contacts, I sync from Google and work to the N900, and from the N900 to a home system via PCSuite. I've got 90+ on Google, 300+ at work and at least another 200+ unique on the N900. A full sync to/from everything, for all categories, takes under a minute, and happens almost automatically. I have to select Sync mode on the N900 when I connect it to the home PC to sync... the rest is all automated.

I get that you're frustrated... But it sounds like at least part of the problem is a lack of house cleaning. Most desktops would be a bit slow handling/tracking 1700 calendar items. To expect that from a 3+ year old tablet, and for it to all automatically work with things that weren't even on the horizon when it came out, seems a bit much.