There are boundaries that should not be crossed. It's useless to complain about "lack of openness" if one doesn't grasp even simplest things about behaving like a human being. To be tolerated, bad behavior usually must have something to counter it, like exceptional talent (like Linus Torvalds). In this case, such thing obviously doesn't exist.

They could exchange the development effort to "diskutering". It's just hard to see why should they. Issues are aknowledged, even if it's not communicated to every single one personally in long discussions times and times again - I'd rather have those issues fixed than discussed for just being "open". Some of them may be difficult to fix and it takes time. Everything has to be prioritized because there are only limited amount of time and resources available. Some things are impossible to give definite answer (and we know nothing less is enough for some people).

Nobody is asking for "you rock" only. What is asked (and rightly so) is to be constructive and behave. In this case it's easy to see it was not going to be constructive but rather some kind of personal vendetta for some strange reasons - if any of my customers started giving s*it to my wife about my work, it would result in hostile response. And rightly so. In some cultures you might even get a punch in your face for doing something like that. So getting banned from IRC is not really that suprising.