But occasionally people find me annoying, real annoying. I don't try to speak that part away. I seem to trigger nerves sometimes. Showing where is some tension. And like in massage - just a little triggering can loose things up. It is painful but the relief is worth it. I am speaking of a massage now.

There is another thing with what I have been misunderstood in life and people have been really annoyed with me. I share a lot what I do. I like to create at a very fast pace keeping the bar low with the end result and share it with others. What I aim with that? To encourage others to create and share without shame. I love to see what people are doing in their life and what they have created. Well how I am being interpreted? I run after honor and glory without seeing I am not that good, and people are ashamed on my behalf and try politely to make me see that "you really aren't that good that I mysef would present it to others". But because I am not after honor and glory it doesn't hit on me what they say and I don't mind - which annoys them because in their eyes I make a fool of myself and just don't see it and they feel so bad for me.

I know I can do many things which some can't, but I also know that I am not a master in anyway in what I am doing. For instance I am building a car. Some are: awesome! But the one's who build cars themselves in a proper way are: Horrible! That is not the way cars should be build. But I am not aiming to win a contest or trying to win respect in any circles with my car. I am building it for fun, just to try something new and create something new without really a possibility to not succeed. Doing is the thing for me, not the polished end result. And that is something some can't tolerate, cause if they would do something sooo wrong' they would not wan't anyone to know about it. For me: I find it funny and amusing if I do something wrong or mess around and make a clown of myself, first in my own eyes and then hopefully in other's.

That is the way I have ment my posts here would be understood: "Can't believe I did this / reacted like this / tried this! Isn't it funny?"

I am not asking help in this thread - even though the words I write would say so. I ask help in proper threads or make new ones. And try not to be that funny/clown in those threads.

For me laughing at myself is freedom - and neccessity in my case to be able to stay alive. Otherwise I would have died of shame long ago. I am that embarrasing guy, managing to do sooo embarrasing things, saying the wrong words in wrong time, doing things which end up being funny - after some time has passed.

So I encourage people to create and share with bar set to the lowest and can say things like "Wonderfull!" or "Awesome!". But I will not say something is good if it is not and make people think they are more skilled than they are. Creating is a goal to cheer in itself, misleading people is another thing. It has been seen in talent shows how bad thing it is when you make someone think he or she is better than they actually are and people have believed it. That can lead to situations that will make a lot of damage - like ending up to be a public clown in youtube. So if someone is aiming at success or profit I am very straight in my words, even sounding harsh while pointing what is done wrong in my opinion. I like to read what other people write (like poems or stories) but I don't wan't to read any of the books my friends have published. I would really like to read them before they are published, but never after, when there is not anymore possible to correct things in what they wrote. And I like to listen music my friends do and enjoy it with them - but if they make a record I don't wan't to listen it after it has been put out, if I have had no possibility to listen it before and suggest things. So if someone is after profit or success, I take it seriously and try to do the best I can to help them. If they are instead doing things just for fun or out of love for creating things, then I can just enjoy what they have made.

I am not after honor, glory, success or profit. You don't need to help me to reach that or pitty me when it seems obvious I am not gonna make it with my creation which I share.

In other threads where I ask for help - I appreciate all the help I can get.