startxfce4 starts an x server, then starts an xfce session on top of it. The x server it will try to start is the xorg x server. The x server you *want* to use is the xomap x server. xfce4-session just starts xfce in the running x server. So you can say 'DISPLAY=:0 xfce4-session' and have a running xfce desktop as long as you already have an x server running. Glad to see something is working for you at least though. And isn't X forwarding like the coolest thing ever?