Really, United Airlines? This is what is going to save your rear from bankruptcy court?

So let me get this straight - I can fly Southwest or some other carrier cheaper, but I get to dock my iPod on your planes... hmm, yeah, I'll take that overpriced ticket! Feel free to lose my luggage while you're at it, and get me to my destination 1 hour and 45 minutes late...

Doomed, doomed I tell ya!

Aunt Sue ain't gonna fall for this one, no siree.