Geek Kid Gets Accepted into Hogwarts

Mom: Hey Billy, you got this fancy letter in the mail!
Billy: Cool, what is it?
Mom: It says Hogwarts on it.
Billy: WTF? Let me see

Dear Billy,
For some random reason, you have been accepted into Hogwarts. Its Magik. Good day.

Billy: Ok, Im going to Hogwarts!

At Hogwarts:

Billy: ??? WTF, my cellphone is not working. Wait, neither is my iPod. What is this?

Random Magician: Oh, look. Technology. That is too good for us. Even though we can solve all the worlds problems and stuff, we are greedy. That is why the God of Magik has punished us and not allowed us to use computters.

Billy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There are only a few things that mix "reality" with "fiction" well. Harry Potter is NOT one of them.