Hallelujah brother! I went into etc/bluetooth/audio.service, changed autostart to =true, did a reboot, and it all works as it should. Sound through the N810 speakers goes off, sound comes through the headset, and I now for the first time get a headset icon on the screen. The sound quality is average at best, but this is what I expected as I primarily use the headset for news/talk radio.

Thanks to all!