Application Title bars seemed to have a fixed length (limiting the number of applets displayed) as well as your issue of not being able to remove the contacts menu (I had the same issue). While I'm sure there are files that can be modified, instead you may choose to install Personal Menu (and then you can disable the contacts menu). While Hildon+matchbox are convenient for day to day use, sometimes a window manager like XFCE are nice to have and you may want to try 'EasyDebian Turbo-charged' slow but usable. Or even install full-on Deblet/other distro.

EDIT: Beaten to the punch.