Which, incredibly enough, do not include ANY of the emulators and virtual machines I use daily on my N810.

When I was a PalmOS fanboy, I used to blurb about how the POS had 100,000 apps while PocketPC had 30,000 or even less.
However, while PocketPC had tens of full DOS emulators, in ten years all PalmOS got was a shabby "DOS-like" useless command prompt. That always remembered me I was being a troll. However, the number of apps argument managed to fool the average forum user, so all was OK