Well, there is work ongoing to get some java on the tablet OS so you may not be SOL forever. There is also work on getting C#/Mono working on the tablet so that might be another option in the future.

You are not necessarily SOL regardless. It just takes some work to get a tunnel established for VNC to run through. Sometimes that work is more hassle than just doing things some other way (like lugging your laptop or using corporate webmail/file access).

Unfortunately, there is no rubber-stamp solution for you.