(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW6HbZXI9Y0)

N900: [User pulls out her iPhone] I can assure you I mean you no harm.
User: Who are you?
N900: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is mobile computer with phone capabilities.
User: Well I can see that.
N900: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a device with N900 printed on the screen who he is.
User: Oh. Right.
N900: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis mobile device.
N900: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by ignorant bloggers. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now wanting 3D and eye candy. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding closed platforms and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious wireless data and voice bills!
[carves "MAEMO" into poster on wall]
N900: The only verdict is openness; an open source platform, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
N900: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me Rover.
User: Are you like a featurephone?
N900: I am quite sure they will say so.