Righto- here's the latest. Just spoke to MPD online chat. the guy on the other end was very helpful and pleasant (OMG are they actually listening to our complaints?). I told him I'd sent an email requesting returns wotsit. He said 'that's ok, but have you tried the Nokia N900 Helpline (on the paper in the box). No I hadn't so I did. Again- extremely helpful, gave me a reference number and told me to take it to Nokia Care's repair outlet where I have to leave it for a day and 'DONT WORRY, THEY WILL SORT IT OUT FOR YOU'. So there's a challenge.