The problem is that many people never got beyond "This is right for me so you must be wrong" to find "This is right for me - what's right for you?"
I wonder how much of that is because some people have come to believe that that sort of language and content is the norm for internet communication. I have certainly met people who were perfectly pleasant in real life who mutated into monosyllabic flamers in front of their screens. <snip> One of the ways Maemo.org can reduce it is by encouraging the Meet-ups. People are much less rude once they've met you.
(Small warning - I'm hatching a plan for a UK users meet - that's users, not devs, just for a day out togther)