Your 2nd deterioration is as fascinating as your first. After you realized you purchased the wrong device, you panicked. That's understandable. But instead of taking responsibility for your poor decision making, you immaturely turned yourself against the world. Sadly, deep down you know you have no one to blame but yourself, but your stunted personality development won't allow you to take the blame. Now, your self-loathing is continually at odds with your self-preservation instinct, and this seems to be causing a form of schizophrenia. Not good. Please seek help and come see us when you're better.