simply solution is to sell it and get your self an iPhone, it got an app for everything you need, 99% of them are useless and repeatitive. This is linux, not some thing that a user like you can appreciate the customisation from commandline level. Go to school and learn more about computer before spitting shiit about Linux capabilities.

I am not flaming you but your behaviour is unacceptable, if you want help here then asking politely, we are not your slave who'd do as you telling us to do.