well i dont know exactly if there is a program that does this but when i miss a call or recieve a message,, on my home screen it will not show up (No Notification what so ever). for me to know if i actually recieved a notification is to click on the menu button on the top left corner where it will than show up as a yellow box.
is there a program that will allow the phone to tell me that i have recieved a message or missed a call without pressing the menu button?