I've searched and found lots of helpful threads that helped me get it set up but not working the way I want it to.

I am able to connect over wifi on the router to my computer, but when I try to connect from 3G using the external IP it can't connect.

I'm using a MacBook Pro with Snow Leopard if it helps.

Also through VNC is it possible to output audio through the phone? Ie If I wanted to listen to music on my iTunes remotely.