OK I'm an idiot. i downloaded and flashed the wrong file. i downloaded "RX-51_2009SE_1.2009.42-11.002_PR_COMBINED_002_ARM.bin" because it was at the top of the download page and i saw 1.2 in the name.

what i needed was "RX-51_2009SE_10.2010.19-1.002_PR_COMBINED_002_ARM.bin" which was farther down the download page. flashed and worked perfectly.

sorry for making this thread, a mod can delete this