Cab you watch live tv?
WorldTV

Iplayer that doesn't stall?
I don't live in England

A million fun games?
LoLz...emulators? Not like I play games on my iPhone either

Decent Twitter app?
Witter *whistle*
Twitbird is allsome. I'll give you that.

Decent sat nav?
Is there free Sat Nav on the iPhone? Just curious.

Google maps?
Google maps = Ovi maps.
Both don't have voice nav

Google anything?
What google thing does the iPhone have?

Can you even sync with your pc without error?
Yezzir. iSync works great for me

messages? Proper push email? Decent email app?
Mine does what I need it to do. Don't know about anyone else

Phones calls that are clear?
Err...yeah.

Touch screen that works as it should do? No crashes? No stalls?
Well duh

You really got the raw deal with your n900, eh?