World Cup? Isn't that a little gay, running around and kicking a ball for 90 minutes? Real men play American football, where they score dozens of points in a game, not just a couple. Or baseball, where most players might do at least 4 minutes of strenuous activity during each game. Baseball and American football players...those are real athletes because they look like real Americans, who eat Big Macs from McD's and Double Down sandwiches from KFC. Soccer players aren't athletes. An athlete is someone who can drive a car around an oval track a few hundred times at a leisurely pace. Someone talked me into going to a soccer game once, but I was like "F*** that!" when the security guys tried to tell me I couldn't take my cooler full of Busch Light and fried bologna sandwiches into the stadium. If Americans aren't the best players, then it's not a sport.