If you dislike, Apple's way of doing things then don't use the device. The rules are there and they are not changing anytime soon. You, as a consumer, have the right to choose.
If your band puts the music in the itunes store and offers it for free then maybe you could reach out to Apple users.
It is better to be safe than sorry. the iPhone =/= 6230. At the moment, there is no way to prevent sharing of music illegally.