I'm sorry drnorton,
from the hcilog I see your n900 advertises the obex services but the carkit does not initiate any obex phonebook transfer.

The syslog shows no obexd logs. Did you restart obexd after adding the --debug (not --debub)?

You can maybe also get some info supported services from the carkit with the following commadn on the n900:

sdptool browse <carkit-bleutooth-address>