If you like:

Microsoft stuff = You are an abuse victim. Every new version of Windows claims to fix the shortcomings of the previous version and you keep going back. Its not Microsoft's fault - it's yours.

Apple = You want to be cool. You want the drool wiped from your mouth and someone to make decisions for you. You look ridiculous in you black turtle neck but so what you are cool. You like being plugged into the matrix - you have no matrix superpowers because that would violate the Apple "terms of service".

Google Android = You don't like to be an individual and seek the comfort of others. You don't need any privacy because you find the Borg Collective a comforting thought. Resistance is futile because everything will be assimilated by Google anyway.

Nokia Linux = You feel subversive and you are a rebel without a clue. You don't believe in "a finished state" - finished software is a conspiracy like the moon landings and enjoy your software to be in a permanent state of flux. Editing configuration files by hand is just the "right way to do things".