Well... Watch the door on your way out.

No, I'm not saying that you could have just simply searched the forums to get the answers to what you want, but you were too lazy to do it. I'm neither saying that Maemo is too complicated for you to grasp. Nor am I saying that you simply make no sense, and that apparently your missus is more apt a user than you. I'm also not saying that you should have asked around in these forums to see if any member that owns a N900 lives near you so you can try it out, nor am I saying that you could watch youtube videos about the N900's UI before buying. Neither am I suggesting that you should have trialled the UI by downloading the emulator.

All I'm saying is that the N900 is clearly not for you.