I believe the one way to win that game of phone (dick) comparisons is to not play at all. When my iphone flashing friends come and show of ther shiny little gadget into my face and pointedly tell me "My iPhone is better than your crappy Nokia", I quietly respond "Yes, yes it is". That usually quiets the ones who're looking to troll me. For the ones who don't shut up, I log into their wifi, rdp into their Windows machines and reboot.