seems it was a software issue that was never rectified...

solution 1. get a new wired connection similar to what nokia gave in the box (the wired part that fits into the headset and into the device)

solution 2. push the 3.5mm side into the device partly (like 1st/2nd black mark on the 3.5mm)..you will/should hear distortion in the headset...once u hear that push the jack fully in...should work...

NOTE: there will be no headset icon most times