ok , got it working. it's much better than my method above as

1. the pc keyboard is mapped properly, could even use the scroll rocker
2. there is no issue with post connection launched apps having huge fonts.

here's what i did in case anyone else wants it:

1. install tightvncserver via symantic
2. go to maemo terminal
3. type : debbie
4. type : tightvncserver -geometry 1400x1050 :1 (or whatever resolution your pc has)
5. type startlxde1

you will be asked to enter a password for users to use when connecting at step 4

when you connect from your pc specify ipaddress:1 e.g. 192.168.1.1:1

amazing stuff.