Or maybe you could get one of these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_hYJZC4PoM

Funny, the one thing you seem to want it to do, it does well.
VoIP is integrated right into it... it even does video calls.

So I had a test run with this thing today, and now am even more disappointed. Besides mcdonald's and my home, I could not
connect to the internet.

I started out the day at around 5am, went to the shopping center
near by to buy an energy drink, and get cash back. At that shop
center, there is a jamba juice, and a starbucks. couldnt connect
to either from outside. So now I go to the bus stop, and there
are two connections available, both locked.

So I finally end up at the swap meet, and as soon as I get there,
I go to the exact spot where I used my notebook before, with
just a regular wireless adapter, not a high gain one, and picked
up 40+ different connections all of which maybe 5 is available,
but intermittent in range/signal. This swap meet is surrounded
by apartments, high rises, a shopping center, and one of the
biggest malls. I must have walked and stopped repeatedly
trying to get a decent signal from the available connections.
Only twice I was able to connect, but couldnt pull up any
sites, and then as soon as I move just an inch connection
lost. Later throughout the day I tried it at 3 other different
bus stops, all of which I couldn't get jack again.

I won an iphone 3g in a bid on ebay yesterday for $33.50 shipped,
cons was that the camera doesnt work, and guy took it apart to replace battery that wouldnt hold a good charge. now it does hold a good charge with the new battery, but he somehow jammed the sim slot in the process, and when putting the iphone back together, it wasnt aligned properly. Im guessing if this piece of
sh!@ cant get a connection, then the 3g wont do much better,
since they were released around the same time. Never used
the wifi function when I had mine. I was just gonna use this
iphone to play games and wifi, if my connection with the n810
wasnt so good i could switch up and see if my iphone would.
Now I know why the original owner bought it on ebay for $65,
had it for 3 months, then sold it to me for $35 plus shipping.

I researched this junk and got all good reviews. I should of took
notice that it was all in -07-08. Even then my treo650 ran faster.
I should have just shelled out the hundred something on a decent qwerty smart phone. I'll prob end up selling these two for a small profit, then just get my *** a good decent phone. Or if i can get the iphone to work 100% minus the camera, cause could care
less bout the camera, get it on data, and rid of the cursed n810,
I use to have a six figure income, and get whatever I wanted,
and now am poor again. n810 is a poor mans wannabe tablet. n810 came out same time as 3g, cant even compare the two. n810 was ancient then, just as much as it is now. Its like
trying to modify a honda civic to look and run like a mustang.
No matter what the fk you do to it, it will never look like a
fkin mustang or run like a mustang. Itll just be a cheap
imitation that you spent too much time tryna make
it into a great American muscle when its just a
Japanese rice cooker that runs on nitrous, but
not real nitrous, I mean nitrous decal sticker power
on your bumper. flame on.

While it's true that if you put a dress on a pig, it's still a pig, but hey, I still love my tablet and learn more about it each and every day.

I have unlimited texting and long distance, even to Canada thanks to my Google Voice account.

A free SIP number thanks to this thread.
http://talk.maemo.org/showthread.php?t=80505

I also have Skype as well.

If you are truly poor now, I would keep your tablet because it has personally saved me from at least $4,000 on silly phone contracts with all of their hidden horror charges.

I've never once had any problems connecting to McDonald's.

You do know that you have to agree to their terms of service before using it, yes?

My N800 can pick up a signal from almost a 100 yards away at times.

There is a little annoying bug that happens at times where it won't connect to a signal correctly.

To resolve for this, enter the following in X-Terminal:

sudo rm /etc/resolv.conf

It's not a modern tablet, no question about it. However, something's wrong with how you're connecting to WiFi. Nokia put an *excellent* RF section into the N810, and even went to extra trouble to make Bluetooth and WiFi co-exist. You may have messed up signing onto the McD's access point, or you bought a broken unit. But of all the shortcomings you might list for the N810, RF performance just isn't one of them.

Sorry you're so unhappy with your $40 purchase. At this late stage in the N810's life you really have to decide if you're a cup-half-full kind of person or a cup-half-empty one.

Andy

Thanks Addison! I've definitely noticed this bug happens every once in a while, and it's annoying. If this works it's an easy resolution.

I don't see how mcdonald's could have messed it up. It can keep a connection if its catching a good signal and i stay in place. I will
acknowledge that it will pick up more connections, but if unable to connect because the connection is locked, or signal strength is not good enough to make a connection, then the higher boost of signal is not worth much over the rest of devices. Still it is something I am debating about keeping, just because it
is not a very modern tech device, it's still light weight, and portable. Another thing was, when i was across the street from mcdonalds I got a connection which I couldnt do in california with my psp, although I must have been at an angle, because that spot,
and the front entrance (never went in) was the only spots around mcdonalds where I could connect. I tried other spots around mcdonalds and couldnt. I'd rather have my 40 bucks back,
but worried I may regret selling this as I could use it one day
if I needed it. Right now its just a paperweight sitting on my
table. I haven't used it since.

I got a good deal on the 3G, as when I got it in the mail, it was
clean without a single scratch. Took me 2.5hrs to get it all
good again (first time attempting to fix) and took care of
all the problems. Only thing that does not work is the
headset speaker, which I think I damaged the no 3 cable
while taking it apart. Speaker, blue tooth, and headphones
still work, so i'll just leave it like this or get a new ribbon for
a few bucks and attempt to fix the problem. Wifi works, but
doesnt catch as much connections as the nokia, but doesnt matter if most are locked anyway. 3g browser loads like butter compared to the nokia. Gonna go with t-mobiles $2 a day
daily unlimited plan. 2g internet speed, but I only go to the
swap meet a few times a week, So its gonna cost me $24
a month to use the internet on my iphone for 12 days out
of the month.

Because the 3G was discontinued, I can only get IOS 4.2 or
lower games and stuff, but some games are rlly good, and
have been keeping me busy on the bus or waiting for it.
Even an old free angry birds app beats a homebrew poker
on the nokia, I'll hopefully be getting a vehicle in a couple
months, so stuff like that wont really matter much. No
qwerty, but nothing is perfect. Will upgrade to a 4 that has
a optional 3rd party bluetooth qwerty slide out or samsung
when I start making more money.

$40 Nokia 810 (paperweight)
vs.
$33.50 Iphone 3G (Like a ipod touch with phone)

You do realize that comparison holds no context in reality, right?

lets set aside the obvious factor that one is subsidized by a multi year contract, and is going to cost a bit more than $33.50, if you really got an 3g for that price off contract, don't expect it to be functional.

Theres really no complaining about your problems with the n810 that make any sense. You get what you paid for, its far from new hardware, and it doesn't make any sense to compare voip wifi sms/voice calling capabilities or functionality using "MacDonalds wifi", to a semi-functional used gsm/2g/3g phone with hardware problems.

Something tells me the problems you seem to think are relevant, are a symptom of something other than bad hardware/software on nokia's part. You are severely misinterpreting/expecting functionality/features from hardware/software that, if you did a bit of research before your purchase, would know isn't going to be a $40 miracle device.