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2010-04-21
, 09:34
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Posts: 216 |
Thanked: 72 times |
Joined on Dec 2009
@ Switzerland
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#52
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Best joke to me not PR 1.2 releated but cracks me up every time and I always have tears in my eyes
btw: PR means Postponed Release
-----------
Chili Tester Named Cameron
"Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're an internet writer and therefore know and adored by all."
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE:
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO:
Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
CAMERON:
Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
CAMERON
Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.
Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO:
A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
CAMERON:
This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a !?##?!?%?~?! uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her "Forklift."
Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE:
Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO:
Hint of lime in the black beans Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
CAMERON:
I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled... it's kinda cute.
Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE:
Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO:
Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
CAMERON:
My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE:
Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
CAMERON:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE;
A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.
CAMERON:
You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good! At autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE:
This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO:
A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
CAMERON:
Momma !!
btw: PR means Postponed Release
-----------
Chili Tester Named Cameron
"Recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being one of those burdens you endure when you're an internet writer and therefore know and adored by all."
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE:
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO:
Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
CAMERON:
Holy smokes, what is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
CAMERON
Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line. The barmaid looks like a professional wrestler after a bad night. She was so irritated over my gagging sounds that the snake tattoo under her eye started to twitch. She has arms like Popeye and a face like Winston Churchill. I will NOT pick a fight with her.
Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE:
Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO:
A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
CAMERON:
This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA, I've located a !?##?!?%?~?! uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been sneezing Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. She said her friends call her "Sally." Probably behind her back they call her "Forklift."
Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE:
Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO:
Hint of lime in the black beans Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
CAMERON:
I felt something scraping across my tongue but was unable to taste it. Sally was standing behind me with fresh refills so I wouldn't have to dash over to see her. When she winked at me her snake sort of coiled and uncoiled... it's kinda cute.
Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE:
Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO:
Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
CAMERON:
My ears are ringing and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE:
Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
CAMERON:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally. I asked if she wants to go dancing later.
Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE;
A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO:
Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge number 3, he appears to be in a bit of distress.
CAMERON:
You could put a hand grenade in my mouth and pull the pin and I wouldn't feel it. I've lost the sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at some point. Good! At autopsy they'll know what killed me. Go Sally, save yourself before it's too late. Tell our children I'm sorry I was not there to conceive them. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful and I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just let it in through the hole in my stomach. Call the X-Files people and tell them I've found a super nova on my tongue.
Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE:
This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
JUDGE TWO:
A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
CAMERON:
Momma !!
__________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
multiple contacts with the same phone number - wrong avatar:
https://bugs.maemo.org/show_bug.cgi?id=8844
missing a scrollbar? Vote here:http://maemo.org/community/brainstor...tic_scrolling/
Add quickbar (ABC, DEF, ...) in the Contact App. Vote here:http://maemo.org/community/brainstor..._address_book/
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
multiple contacts with the same phone number - wrong avatar:
https://bugs.maemo.org/show_bug.cgi?id=8844
missing a scrollbar? Vote here:http://maemo.org/community/brainstor...tic_scrolling/
Add quickbar (ABC, DEF, ...) in the Contact App. Vote here:http://maemo.org/community/brainstor..._address_book/
 |
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2010-04-21
, 09:54
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Posts: 635 |
Thanked: 282 times |
Joined on Sep 2009
@ Black Mesa Research Facility
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#54
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Thundercats find the PR1.2 in a treasure chest on Third Earth during a battle with Mumm-ra (ehm Nokia).
Lion-O goes ahead, tosses out his Sword of Omens (ehm N900) and shouts:
Update! Update! Update! Update Now, Hooooooo!
And both the Sword of Omens and PR1.2 run away, because they're not ready.
Lion-O goes ahead, tosses out his Sword of Omens (ehm N900) and shouts:
Update! Update! Update! Update Now, Hooooooo!
And both the Sword of Omens and PR1.2 run away, because they're not ready.
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2010-04-21
, 09:57
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Posts: 62 |
Thanked: 97 times |
Joined on Dec 2009
@ Finland, Kerava
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#55
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Why isn't PR1.2 out yet?
Vanjoki is adding a feature that makes system cameras obsolete.
Last edited by rontti; 2010-04-21 at 10:01.
Vanjoki is adding a feature that makes system cameras obsolete.
Last edited by rontti; 2010-04-21 at 10:01.
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2010-04-21
, 10:01
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Posts: 51 |
Thanked: 23 times |
Joined on Apr 2010
@ Zagreb, Croatia
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#56
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Two guys meet in a Finish bar, both terribly depressed:
- What's your story mate?
- Wife left me two months ago. Yours?
- I lost the only copy of PR1.2 two months ago... I hope no one will find out.
Superman sees a Finish guy crying and asks:
- Tell me what's wrong. I'll help.
- Chuck Norris kicked my ***, and took the only copy of PR1.2.
- Forget it. You were lucky. Don't piss him off next time.
- What's your story mate?
- Wife left me two months ago. Yours?
- I lost the only copy of PR1.2 two months ago... I hope no one will find out.
Superman sees a Finish guy crying and asks:
- Tell me what's wrong. I'll help.
- Chuck Norris kicked my ***, and took the only copy of PR1.2.
- Forget it. You were lucky. Don't piss him off next time.
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2010-04-21
, 10:27
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Posts: 14 |
Thanked: 6 times |
Joined on Dec 2009
@ UK
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#57
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Originally Posted by tomaszrybak
Solid man!!
Why is PR1.2 not yet released?
Testers are waiting to ensure compatibility with Duke Nukem Forever!
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2010-04-21
, 11:22
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Posts: 25 |
Thanked: 8 times |
Joined on Feb 2010
@ Chennai,India
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#58
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Originally Posted by roger_27
awesome, that really made my day
PR 1.2 and Meego 1.0 were chatting it up at the repository.
PR 1.2 : so when you getting released?
Meego: i dont know, some time after you i guess.
PR 1.2: I'm getting released???
__________________
Regards,
Arjun
Regards,
Arjun
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| Tags |
| chuck norris, jokes, lame, no funnys itt, not funny, pr 1.2 abuse, they had eggs |
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- My PR1.2 is late.
- Lucky you. I have to use an iPad.