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2010-11-09
, 05:21
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Posts: 118 |
Thanked: 202 times |
Joined on Aug 2010
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#2
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Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This phone is no more! It has checked-out, flatlined! It's expired and gone to meet its maker (figuratively)! It's a brick! Bereft of electrons, It rests in peace! If you hadn't placed it so neatly into this box it'd be a nice black paper weight! Its electronic circuitry is now 'istory! It's off the grid! It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off its electric coil, underwent its final recharge cycle, logged off indefinitely and joined the bleedin' choir of bricked phones!! THIS.. IS AN EX-N900!!
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2010-11-09
, 05:54
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Posts: 4,365 |
Thanked: 2,467 times |
Joined on Jan 2010
@ Australia Mate
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#3
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kay....................
__________________
N9 / N900 Youtube Videos
N9 "Faster, Darker, Better" Theme Pack
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www.F2thaK.com
N9 / N900 Youtube Videos
N9 "Faster, Darker, Better" Theme Pack
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www.F2thaK.com
A customer enters a phone shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this phone what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very shop.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Nokia N900...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, It's uh,...it's running an old firmware.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead phone when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's in standby! Remarkable phone, the N900, idn'it, ay? Beautiful OS!
Mr. Praline: The OS don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! It's running an old firmware!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if It's just runnin' an old firmware, I'll boot him up! (pressing the power button) Hello, Mister N900! I've got a lovely fresh app for you if you boot...
(owner quickly plugs in cable)
Owner: There, it boots!
Mr. Praline: No, it doesn't, you plugged in the cable so the LED lights up!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and pressing the power button repeatedly) HELLO LITTLE N900!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes phone thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor, remaining physically intact.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead phone.
Owner: No, no.....No, the battery's flat!
Mr. Praline: FLAT?!?
Owner: Yeah! It must have run dry, just as you were upgrading the firmware! N900 batteries run flat easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That phone is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of functionality was due to it "being upgraded over-the-air".
Owner: Well, It's...It's, ah...probably pining for the Finnish fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FINNISH FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why wouldn't it boot the moment I got it home?
Owner: The N900 prefers the power saving mode! Remarkable device, id'nit, squire? Lovely OS!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that phone when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been showing a GUI in first place was because there was a SCREENSHOT of the GUI taped to the screen.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it had a sticker! If I hadn't done that, it would 'ave detected light through the light sensor, awoken from standby, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee...
Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this phone wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! It's pining!
Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This phone is no more! It has checked-out, flatlined! It's expired and gone to meet its maker (figuratively)! It's a brick! Bereft of electrons, It rests in peace! If you hadn't placed it so neatly into this box it'd be a nice black paper weight! Its electronic circuitry is now 'istory! It's off the grid! It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off its electric coil, underwent its final recharge cycle, logged off indefinitely and joined the bleedin' choir of bricked phones!! THIS.. IS AN EX-N900!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of N900s.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got an iPhone.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it run Linux?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.