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kyros's Avatar
Posts: 44 | Thanked: 7 times | Joined on Feb 2010 @ Vienna / Austria
#91
OK, time for the truth:

End of March a group of mercenary soldiers paid by religious Apple consumer splinter group attacked in a secret manoeuver the Nokia developer yard.
This hostage taking still persits and is kept secret by the Nokia & Apple crisis management group. They both agreed to coorperate (really!) and not to publish any new firmware for their products until this problem is solved.
Nokia called Chuck Norris via gmail for help and that's why everyone is talking of him now.
Two weeks later at April 14th in a brave action PR 1.2 could escape during the early morning wearing a black cape and tried to reach the backbone in Helsinki to be published. Unfortuately he was spotted by Chuck Norris. Chuck intercepted him, knocked him down and shouted: "Surrender, Batman!"
As a direct result of this brute hit the Eyjafjallajökull erupted.
Meanwhile Apple could lure the group of mercenary soldiers paid by religious Apple consumer splinter group away by announcing a downright lie that the new iPhone prototype got lost and that they had to engage to the new target to return the prototype again.
PR 1.2 is held in artificial coma until the now freed Nokia devs can heal the damage.

And now please stop making crack-brained jokes about this serious situation!

Last edited by kyros; 2010-04-23 at 10:22.
 
eiffel's Avatar
Posts: 600 | Thanked: 742 times | Joined on Sep 2008 @ England
#92
You may joke about it, but the plan has always been to release PR 1.2 just before the Pandora developers release their device to retail buyers.

That plan was messed up when a Nokia employee accidentally left a copy of PR 1.2 in a bar. It was found by someone who sold it to Gizmodo for $5000. When Nokia realised, they activated the remote wipe feature. Unfortunately, they didn't first check that they had a good backup, and now we're stuffed.
 
Posts: 197 | Thanked: 25 times | Joined on Apr 2010 @ Europe
#93
Originally Posted by neven View Post
Two girls talk:
- My PR1.2 is late.
- Lucky you. I have to use an iPad.
ok and where is the joke?
 
Posts: 197 | Thanked: 25 times | Joined on Apr 2010 @ Europe
#94
PR = pain reliever
 
anidel's Avatar
Posts: 1,743 | Thanked: 1,231 times | Joined on Jul 2006 @ Twickenham, UK
#95
Nokia's uploading PR1.2 as we've been speaking. It'll be available when the Windows progress bar reaches the end.
 
pantera1989's Avatar
Posts: 577 | Thanked: 699 times | Joined on Feb 2010 @ Malta
#96
Originally Posted by roger_27 View Post
(the following does not describe in any way how I feel about the president of Nokia. it's just a satirical joke based on the movie SAW. I'm a very patient, and nice guy. again JUST A JOKE!)

*Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo, president of Nokia is captured in his home, and passed out with chloroform*

*he awakens to find himself in a very dark room, bound to a chair by his right-hand wrist*

*he pulls his left leg forward, which pulls a lever, and triggers a nearby TV to turn on. on the screen is a clown manequin... he begins to speak*

Hello Olli, I want to play a game........

You have spent your life devoted to making people wait, now let's see how you are at patience yourself.

Above your hand is a bucket with a hole in it, over the next 12 hours enough acid droplets will drip, one by one on your hand to reveal a key which I have embedded deep inside it. If you can wait long enough for the acid to release the key, you may unlock yourself and enjoy your liberation and what is left of your right hand, leaving you a little wiser and with a new profund sense of what it is like to wait for something so close to your grasp, yet very far away.

If you don't want to wait you can press the button below your left hand, which will immediately chop the hand off, and give you your precious freedom.

So what will it be Olli, will you finish your patience testing, or push for a quick release?

(you decide the ending)
It doesn't really make sense. However it goes the guy will still loose his left hand. So how on earth will he unlock himself if his right hand is bound, and his left hand will be incapacitated? :P
 
anidel's Avatar
Posts: 1,743 | Thanked: 1,231 times | Joined on Jul 2006 @ Twickenham, UK
#97
Originally Posted by pantera1989 View Post
It doesn't really make sense. However it goes the guy will still loose his left hand. So how on earth will he unlock himself if his right hand is bound, and his left hand will be incapacitated? :P
The hand that will be chopped is the right hand.

So it still makes sense

This joke is very dark however And that may be the reason why I don't watch horror movies at all
 
Posts: 126 | Thanked: 77 times | Joined on Feb 2010 @ UK
#98
Originally Posted by Cthulhu View Post
Seriously, some of these jokes aren't jokes at all... others are indeed very funny, but people like james174... come on.

The N900 are missing some features, have some bugs and whatnot, but implying that the quality of the Maemo5 OS is rapidly declining is simply ridiculous!

Here's (what I consider) a joke, though:

The manager of the Maemo5 software team has to make a hard choice: Lay off Jack or Sue.
They are both superb workers, but the PR1.2 update is delayed, so an example has to be made.

The manager decides that whoever drinks from the cooler first will be laid off the following morning.

Sue, who always comes in bright and early, had a horrible hangover from partying to hard last night, and goes to the fountain to drink some water.

The manager walks up to her, sighs and tells her
"I either have to lay you or Jack off."

Turning to face the Manager, Sue smiles and says
"Could you please just jack off, cuz' my head is killing me."
 
pantera1989's Avatar
Posts: 577 | Thanked: 699 times | Joined on Feb 2010 @ Malta
#99
Originally Posted by anidel View Post
The hand that will be chopped is the right hand.

So it still makes sense

This joke is very dark however And that may be the reason why I don't watch horror movies at all
Ah well in that case it makes sense However it was misleading:

If you don't want to wait you can press the button below your left hand, which will immediately chop the hand off, and give you your precious freedom.
 
esthreel's Avatar
Posts: 259 | Thanked: 55 times | Joined on Apr 2010 @ Vilnius, Lithuania
#100
*************
What's the use of having update schedule if it is always late.
How would we know it was late, if we didn't have a schedule?

*************

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

*************

Last edited by esthreel; 2010-04-26 at 23:14.
 
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