"When you register, you will create a username and a password."

Via SMS? These are from something else?

"You are not allowed to use the Service if you do not agree to the Terms."

Who writes this stuff? Did I agree? Did i push something that said "I agree"? No, I was "done".

"You agree to provide truthful and complete information when registering for the Service and to keep that information updated. Providing misleading information about your identity is forbidden."

Forbidden? Who writes the stuff. Tolkien? Besides, I am Bart Simpson. I swear. Whatchagonnado? Register me anyway?

"However, by submitting Material to the Service you grant Nokia a worldwide non-exclusive, assignable, fully paid, royalty-free, perpetual and irrevocable license to use, copy, publicly perform, display, distribute and modify the Material, and to prepare derivative works thereof, or incorporate the Material into other works as well as sublicense the same."

We're boned. However, it says submitting, and I have done no suth thing.

Still, did you read that? Really read? Do you realize that by irrevocable license to modify and distribute you can have yor head pasted on a whale body and made into a commercial and you can't sue cause they own it?

That opened my eyes.

Let's comparison shop:

Microsoft: "Except for material that we license to you, we do not claim ownership of the content you post or provide on the service."

Google: "Google reserves the right (but shall have no obligation) to pre-screen, review, flag, filter, modify, refuse or remove any or all Content from any Service"

"You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless Nokia from and against any and all third party claims and all liabilities, assessments, losses, costs or damages resulting from or arising out of i) your breach of the Terms, ii) your infringement or violation of any intellectual property, other rights or privacy of a third party, "

By rambling here you are not protecting Nokia. No soup for you! Er, OVI

I swear, this the best read I've had all year.

"PRIVACY POLICY

WE CARE ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY"

Aghaghaghagha! -snif- haaaaa.

Next.

"We collect your personal data typically when you make a purchase, use or register into our services, enter into a sales promotion or a campaign or otherwise interact with us."

By allowing yourself to be robbed, you have interacted with Nokia.

How is it possible to own a N900 and not interact with Nokia?

I have to stop now, my phone is giggling. Must be the Nokia Pear package. wink, wink, apple, pear, cherry?

Advertised as a Linux phone. I won't even get into that.

----
Standard "posted by N900 applies"

Thanks for posting that. The T&Cs are available via the My Nokia icon in Settings after you've upgraded to PR1.2.

To be fair, The Register is often tongue-in-cheek.

"often" toung in cheek? try "always".

I laughed out loud at that byline, their pithy headlines are one of the best bits of my morning most days, even when I'm the butt of their joke!

You need to be able to laugh at yourself, even while on your high horse crusading about data protection/trust etc.

Phew, lucky me - and there I was thinking about using files@OVI. Now imagine, you upload pictures of the family's new baby in good faith, and next you know is your little darling is the star of Nokia's new advertisement series.

(Luckily, they probably won't use the nude photographs of your drunken CEO for rating reasons... )

Well, seems like we sold our souls here. By accepting the contract. Which we did by installing 1.2. Before we even had access to this document. Tough luck.

Talking about the My Nokia icon in Settings:



Do I have to translate it or is it already clear that my Unsubcribe button is greyed out...?

I especially like that in conjunction with this harmless little sentence:
So if Nokia decided to charge for this little "service" and I accept this change (not by pressing any button, but simply by not deleting Maemo from my device), they can charge me all they want - because I didn't unsubscribe from their "service" (since my unsubscribe button is deactivated).

If I didn't already agree (by installing 1.2) that I would defend Nokia, I would have some rather nasty things to say now...

I think Nokia just got owned by their own legal department in this case. Unless someone grows some balls and personally take charge there, including reigning in all the little 'unimportant stuffs' (like the small prints they subject all their customers and supporters with), I'm afraid the bucks will always get passed to the seemingly non existent 'corporate guidelines'.

Mine will now, too. I uninstalled the recording widget and the personal IP widget and, finally, it doesn't become completely unresponsive after a few days. Which just goes to support his point: it's not the open OS but the closed apps/components that are the problem. Because the telephony stuff is closed, it can't have a recording function added where it won't cause mayhem.

I have to say i wasn't aware of the MyNokia issue. I don't think my N900 phoned home, because i've not received any unsolicited SMSes, but reading about this issue is really disappointing. Everything i would say has been said so i'll leave it at that.

Agreed...

Mine hasn't phoned home either and I do not have a "My Nokia" icon or app...

The thing is, I use it every day on T-Mobiles network with a data only SIM...

I have never made a POT call with the N900 and because I don't have a POT # assigned, no SMS. This "cherry bomb" never went off on mine.

I get how it is at The Register, but it wasn't funny. If he said something about who owns an n900 ("Basements across the world imploded this morning") instead of how many, it would have been funny. Instead, he was just being a dick by implying that the n900 wasn't even a good geek device. He exaggerated the wrong characteristic and thus it was just an insult rather than humor. Maybe he was just having an off day; I'm sure he'll get 'em next time.