If you can sufficiently convince me that you can get me Newton-style HWR on a Linux tablet, I'll gladly pay you in advance. I'm not joking here...

I'm not mocking. I've thought seriously about buying one. (and, I was a NeXT user, back in the day, as well)

I just wish they offered one in a smaller form factor.

There are touchscreens available that will connect to a laptop or desktop. I've used them as electronic flight bags, connected to a Panasonic Toughbook stowed away, and they work great for use in flight in a helicopter. We use it for doing weight and balance calculations, keeping track of flight manifests and trips, and it connects through a satellite link to send the flight plans and messages. At the end of the day it does all the paperwork. It's just a remote touchscreen, about 8" diagonal or so ( I haven't actually measured it, and don't have one available right now), uses the same radio as a wireless mouse, I think, and comes with its own stylus. I've used it to surf and check email while connected to the base network.

Coincidentally, I think I saw your soul just last week. It was hanging around a Greyhound bus station, chain-smoking Camels and cursing at panhandlers. Looks like you pulled one over on the Devil, eh?

That magnum looks like a tablet PC with the screen turned out...

It's an HP monitor.