When I pull it off the charger, I have to hold the power button down for what seems like a long time to get any response, then all it does it give me the Nokia logo (then it goes dark again).

Thanks for the help, though! I'll keep playing around with it and checking in here while I wait for the replacement to arrive, but I'm guessing this one's toast. Maybe a Christmas miracle will give it enough power that I can either flash or get in and delete those passwords.